Hard J

by Jung Manhater

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about

The album is called "Hard J" because I am using a hard J in Jung (like the Korean word) as opposed to a soft J (i.e. Carl Jung).

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released May 26, 2017

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Jung Manhater San Diego, California

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Track Name: Walking Hurts
I tell my people they couldn't lose my acceptance
I tell my people they are more than their damage
I tell my people they could never let me down

I tell my people you'll be okay
I tell my people you'll make it through
I tell my people because they're not me

You're not the only one
that says I'm not less than
I can't make me believe you
Because it can't just be in my head
It's in this cracking down below
It's this ache, this ache...

I tell my people what I need to hear
But my troubled walk fucks with my mind
Track Name: Hoping Bones
YOU:
-Must kill bigots.
-Margin walker.
-Hungry Survivor.
-Nice to your waiters.
-Like spiders more than babies.
-Freaks out on opposite days.
-Want to turn a house into a show.

ME:
-Human entertainment.
-Nice to our waiters.
-An alchemist with nothing to make gold.
-But I know me.
-I am any other rarity.
-waiting for demand.
-buried underground.

Clutching a torch
not trying to lead
Just lost in the night and trying to see
So read for days
There's asterisks on these lines
and footnotes we’ll never find
Track Name: Swordfighting
Hell is other people
And our measurements
Swordfights daily
With me and you

Everyone is sculpted
I'm devouring my son
Swordfights daily
In my mirror

“I, I GET TO LIVE
AND ALL THAT YOUR HATE SAYS TO ME IS
MY LOVE IS A REVOLUTIONARY ACT"
but I don’t go by what he says
Swordfights daily
Over myself

Swinging without aiming
Swinging without thinking
Cutting without blinking
Cutting everything

I love you, I love you
I can't believe you
I'm in here, I'm in here
I can't believe you
I hear you, I understand
I can't believe you
I don't care but I'm trying to
Track Name: Knowing What To Say
Run a white flag up: Red heart centered,
“Inquire Within” in black words over
Meant as a one-on-one surrender
Seen as a threat by all invaders

They came down like birds from wires
And told me I needed to make bread
“There's no love, just wanting ways out”
“And no friends, just what you can give them”

Don't believe them
There's heat in here that's rare to find
No invaders can get inside
No invaders can get inside

Anyways, that’s what I’d tell them
Good luck

to feel like a coach
winning everything
To see advice
Brought to life
To feel so high

to lose that high
to prying eyes
A fit young face
Invades your life
To leave shit in your brain

Grimacing at you
They just pass by
Cut to shreds
With no use
For all that advice

And it repeats in your mind
Hundreds of times
And you are left
to spend your days
just not knowing what to say
not knowing what to say
Track Name: Day Dream 2: Son of Instrument
I could sing
and I could run
All at once
when I was young
I tried to love someone
who couldn’t let it survive
But guess what?
That force is still inside me!
I want to let it wash over my scars as I scream:
I WILL LOVE AGAIN, THIS IS MY PUNK ROCK
Track Name: Healer
I remember what you told me
"I can't even diss you"
"You're one of the strongest people I know"
"I'm so proud of you"
"Even when you're not there, you're there"
"You matter endlessly"
"I love you and fuck all of this"
"I love you too"
"I love you"

You heal me
Track Name: Patterns (When You Close Your Eyes)
What good is sensual
when you can’t trust your senses
I can't just act on what's only in my mind

I want you to tell me I'm more
than water in your ears
and that you see me in the
Patterns when you close your eyes

Feel Wanted
Track Name: New Applicants
I felt the forests of washington under my skin
For seven years as of time of writing
covered in chicken shit, walking through mud
To the cabin opposite of where I said it was
Watching the bushes, calmly rehearsing
A story I would never have to tell new friends
Living out another obligation from your life
I'd love to be able to do more of that

A first person drawing of a hospital room
A letter awaiting response I'd never send
Waving back at me just before you left
Playing breadcrumb trail on the hotel bed
Driving out to the ranch to laugh and spit
Thinking about you sending everyone away and
Telling me the most fucked up and brave truth
And I wasted it in another song

New applicants,
please understand
I've felt like exploding since I was young
Trying to pull my chest wide open
I understand it now as a fire he set
I understand my fear is keeping it lit
Maybe that's why he told my mother
I was going to be fine

In the biggest moments I've had in my life
Sometimes I think it's better that you're dead, dad
Your children are hiding, from themselves and sunlight
You'd have to see your brother lose again
I can't know how we would ever get along
But for now your surprise still holds on
to those names I'll never hear again
by looking like you as much as I can

And one line here for Frank
My adopted grandfather
And one line here for Rosa and Minnie
The first dogs I really loved
And one line here for Bonnie
A lion I will never be as strong as
And one line here for Joseph
A soldier I fear I won't see again

And five more family died since I started writing this song
So listen

I have run off sisters
I burden my mother
I'm running out of elders
I drown in brothers
And I have to think about how I'll break their heart
So I can write real love songs
Odes to the strong and the beautiful
Who confirmed I was ever alive

New applicants, please understand
I will make all of them proud
New applicants, please understand
They're why the price of admission is high
New applicants, please understand
I've wrote out in detail what I survived
New applicants, please understand
Be worth that, or stand aside